Crookshanks
by 123-say-cheese
Summary: Missing moment from OOTP. Crookshanks gets an urge to attack Ron which results in a cute RHr moment. RonHermione. Oneshot.


Crookshanks

Disclaimer: I do not own these characters and I am not getting paid for this, etc, etc.

A/N. This is a story I wrote before HBP came out and I found it again the other day. I must have written when I was around 11 or 12. I thought I might as well post it. I've edited it a bit.

Missing moment from OOTP. So Hermione, Ron and Harry are around 15.

This is all from Crookshank's point of view. Oh, and by the way, since Crookshanks is a magical cat: he understands English and he is not colourblind.

* * *

I stretched, opening my eyelids so the whole world would be blessed with the glorious orbs that are my eyes. The first thing I see as my gorgeous, golden eyes take in my surroundings is my master. The most beautiful, kindest and definitely cleverest human I know. Her name is Hermione Granger. Right then she is in a slumber, dreaming. Her mouth is stretched in a small smile as she mutters the words: 'that's nice of you.' She must be thinking of the boy with the annoying toad. She's always saying that to him. That boy always asks her for help with his 'homework'. Whatever 'homework' is. In repayment, he fetches things for her. But my master deserves the best – he should be bowing down to her…or maybe me. Yes, yes, yes. Of course, ruler of Earth is a perfect position for an extraordinary cat like me. Yes, I should be ruler of Earth (my master could be deputy). While I am planning my rise to the throne I feel myself being lifted of my paws by Hermione.

"Good morning, Crookshanks."

Heh heh, she means 'your highness'.

"I've just had a strange dream…"

The boy (Neville, I think) was in it. Am I correct?

"Neville was there…" she continues.

I do have the power to read minds. I do! I do, I do!

"You were in it…"

WHAT?! What was I doing with that boy? I really don't like his toad, Trevor. The slimy creature follows me around and tries to talk to me.

"Look at the time!" She gasps. "I'll be late for Transfiguration!"

No, my darling, you won't! Everyone else will just be early! After all, you are perfect. I speak my thoughts but she doesn't understand my meows. While I'm meowing, I suddenly realize how sexy my voice truly is. I start purring to myself just to hear the sultry tones that resonate around the room.

---

Before I know it, my master is ready (what speed she has) and is rushing through the door. I shake my luxurious golden-red fur and yawn. 

"Almost forgot-"

Hermione had walked back in again (so silently she can tiptoe) and is gliding gracefully to her bedside table where there are 3 'photo frames' as she calls them. One of the 'photos' is of her and the two adults I meet for a brief time each year whom she refers to as 'mum' and 'dad'. The other two pictures move. The third picture is of her with the two boys she spends all her time with and the big man with a fuzzy beard. The first boy is the cleverer of the two. He is the kinder and more decent one with jet black, very, _very_ messy hair (honestly, some people don't even groom themselves. Does he not care about his appearance?!). This boy also has a strange, squiggly line on his head and he wears something called 'glasses'. My master calls him Harry. The second boy is the horrible, annoying, stupid one who is always fighting with my master. He has bright red hair and she calls him Ron. Stupid boy he is. He kicked my soft derrière last week! (For those of you not well-informed in the Français language I will translate. Derrière means bottom). When I become ruler of Earth, he will be the first to be sent to the dungeons. The big man in the picture who is standing behind the two boys is referred to by my master as 'Hagrid'. He has a dog whom I like to chase after.

Finally, the last 'photo frame' is the one that disturbs me most. It is a picture of the stupid, red haired, freckled boy. The 'frame' has hearts dotted around it. The picture is of the moron Ron. Suddenly, I think of something very clever and thank my wonderful brain. Moron and Ron rhyme! Figures. Anyway, my dear, dear master loves him. But he hurts her and upsets her and even makes her cry! But she loves him! Don't ask me about her common sense. She thinks he doesn't love her. Again, I am very concerned about that common sense of hers. It is obvious he loves her as well. I don't need to be human to know that. His younger sister, Ginny (who is _much_ nicer by the way) told her so. I don't understand why my master doesn't tell him about her feelings. Right now, in the 'photo' he is waving happily at her and his ears are burning. I glare at his picture. Unworthy scum. Humph!

"There's my bag. Bye, Crookshanks!" Hermione waves her farewell as she leaves me for hours once again.

The ruler of Earth should not have to put up with this sort of cheek.

She takes one last look at the picture of the Ron boy. She clutches her heart and sighs. That is a bit dramatic if you ask me but who am I to question such powerful glory such as my master's? Her infatuation with this Ron character is her only bad point.

"You know, Crookshanks..."

She lifts me into her arms and hugs me. Say it; say I will be ruler-

"Your fur is the same colour as Ron's hair!"

I hiss angrily and jump out of her arms as she laughs and runs off. Honestly, humans.

---

I am feeling quite annoyed at my master although I know that as soon as I rest my eyes on her, my anger will evaporate as though I am a mere puddle and she the mighty sun. I shall one day be mightier than the sun. Yes…yes…I am so sleepy.

---

"I don't get it. We need Hermione."

I jerk out of my beauty sleep. I am in the room that they call 'common'. I had come down for my nap but I was disturbed by the scar-head boy. Wait! If he is here that means…_oh no_! There he is – right beside me, the moron, the _Ron_. The love of _my_ Hermione's life and the one who has the same fur colour as me.

"Yeah, you're right, Harry. We're a lost cause without her," he says in his whiny voice.

Well you are anyway, matey. As the Ron boy bows his head to gaze at the parchment in front of him I feel a great urge to hurt him. I don't know why. Don't question the ruler of Earth. But I try to stop myself. What would Hermione say? I try my hardest to keep under control but I can't hold the desire any longer. I spring at him, hissing and spitting and I claw and scratch at him until his face and hands are bleeding. My victim…uh…I mean…the Ron boy is yelling out in pain, agony, pain, agony (did I mention pain and agony. Ha ha, wimp.) The Harry boy is bellowing at me to get off and he finally grabs me and pulls me off. Phew, urge satisfied.

---

I can't identify this feeling that I'm experiencing. It's horrible. I hate it. I think it's…_regret_! I'm actually _regretting_ hurting the Ron boy! Shhh, don't tell Trevor the toad. He'd never let me hear the end of it! Well, maybe it's because I feel as though I've betrayed my master. Or maybe it's because the ginger boy's face is as red as blood flowing down it. Or maybe it's because his eyes are flashing with blazing fury and…I think I'm regretting it because I could be dead in the next minute.

"Why you-"

Goodbye, sweet world!

"I'm going to kill you!"

He's approaching me. What am I to do? I meow helplessly.

"You…"

To the astonishment of the Harry boy and I, the Ron boy announces that I am a 'bloody cat' and flops down onto the couch looking drained. He fingers his wounds and groans softly.

"Why aren't you attacking Crookshanks?" The Harry boy asks puzzled. "He attacked you!"

Don't remind him, lad! Silly boy.

"He's Hermione's cat," the Ron boy says simply. "She'd kill me if I killed him."

But I can see the look in his eyes and I know that he wouldn't care less if Hermione was mad at him. He wouldn't want her to grieve and blame him over my death. I knew my master was amazing! Even when she's not here - her powers are! Wow, the Ron boy must really love her if he has decided not to murder me! Cool.

"So," Harry says. "Basically, you're saying this: you've been attacked by a cat. Your face is a bloody mess."

Ron snorts.

"You've hated this cat since you were thirteen. But you're not going to do anything about it because he belongs to Hermione? Why? That's never stopped you before! Just because he's Hermione's cat?!"

I'm beginning to think that the Harry boy is as stupid as the boy sat opposite him. He-loves-her. Duh! Harry clearly doesn't have a brain or he is utterly oblivious to the rest of the world.

"Yeah," Ron answers. "Pretty much."

The Harry boy looks flabbergasted.

If all humans were this dumb, cats would rule the world. Of course, I would be their ruler.

---

"Ron! What happened?!"

My heart jumps for joy! My beautiful Hermione walks through the door and drops everything in her hands, forgetting them there and running towards the Ron boy.

"Ron! Move your hands, let me look! Oh my gosh! What happened?

She sits down next to him and drags his hands away from his face. She gasps. Her brown eyes brim with tears and she trembles.

"Who did this?" She asks dangerously, even though there is a slight quaver in her voice.

I can't believe it is because of me that she is this upset! My dumb actions! Ron just rolls his eyes and puts his hands over his face again.

"Well…" starts Harry.

Don't say I did it, boy.

"We were waiting for you to come back so we could get our homework done (by the way, we need your help with Potions). Ron was leaning over his work when for no apparent reason; Crookshanks jumps at him and starts attacking him."

Damn boy.

"Then I pulled him away and Ron stood up to…uh…kill him but then said he wouldn't 'cause Crookshanks is _your_ cat."

"What? Crookshanks wouldn't have hurt him on purpose!"

I do not deserve your defense, Hermione. I've done wrong!

"No reason whatsoever," Harry tells her.

"Crookshanks?"

She looks at me, pleading me to tell her it's not true.

I meow somberly.

"Crookshanks! How could you do-"

But I am _out of there_. I run as fast as my muscular (it is muscle _not_ fat!) can carry me.

"Come back here, Crookshanks!" My master screams making me sprint all the more faster.

---

After a few seconds of getting my breath back, I suddenly feel guilt course through my veins. I know I have to go back and make up for what I did. My master was so upset! With a flick of my tail, I dash back to the room that is common and crawl underneath a sofa near my master and Ron.

"I'm so sorry, Ron," Hermione says.

She touches his face carefully and grimaces.

"We should get you to the Hospital Wing," she states.

Her face suddenly crumples and she throws her arms around Ron.

"It's only a few cuts, Hermione!" Ron says turning red around the ears.

He awkwardly pats her back.

Hug her back, moron! I almost cry out in joy as Ron uncomfortably puts his arms around her waist. They fit perfectly. Purrfectly. Like a jigsaw. I can tell by the way they hug each other that they their love is stronger than anything I've ever known. Ron kisses my master's head tentatively and Hermione blushes. But just like the moron he is, he realizes what he has done and breaks the embrace. He can't even see how happy Hermione had been in those couple of seconds. I look at Harry's face and he is staring at the ceiling, awkwardly, trying so hard to ignore his two best friends.

---

After a few moments of sheer awkwardness Ron speaks up.

"Hey, I'm still bleeding."

No, that's blooming ketchup running down your face!

"Let's get you to the Hospital Wing," Hermione says standing up. "I'll go with you."

Ron stares at my Hermione in shock. The silence holds for over a minute.

Suddenly, she looks uncertain and sad. Ron has distressed my master! He is a moron, stupid, arrogant-

"Hermione, you are honestly the nicest person I have ever met."

-kind, caring, smart-

"Let's go," says my master looking a lot happier.

I feel joyous as I watch my master and the love of her life (followed by their best friend) walk out of the room that is common. I am glad that Ron makes my master so happy.

That does not mean I like him.

THE END

* * *

A/N. I edited it a bit so that it would make more sense as a missing moment instead of the 'Ron and Hermione get together' kind of story it originally was. Anyway, please review. 


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